


Finding Myself

by LexiTheDoubleedge



Category: Parahumans Series - Wildbow
Genre: F/F, Futanari, Girl Penis, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Masturbation, Porn Watching, Sex Toys, Vaginal Sex, What are you people doing to me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-19
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2020-05-14 20:42:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19280812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LexiTheDoubleedge/pseuds/LexiTheDoubleedge
Summary: A week after Vista's disastrous encounter with Skitter, and the worst has yet to happen. Maybe it won't happen at all.But that doesn't mean there won't be consequences...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Proving Herself](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9836567) by [WestOrEast](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WestOrEast/pseuds/WestOrEast). 



> This is an unofficial sequel to WestOrEast's Proving Herself.
> 
> No, seriously, what are you people doing to me.

I let the door to my Wards room slide shut with a sigh before plopping down on my bed with a sigh.

It'd been a week since that disastrous encounter with Skitter, and the hammer had yet to fall. I was starting to think maybe it wasn't coming after all.

The day after, I'd bought a new burner phone, and gone searching for "Vista sex video".

Dread had turned to confusion as I'd found dozens of videos, most weeks old. It hadn't taken me long to realize the truth.

There were a lot of people out there who liked dressing up as capes and fucking each other. It wasn't just me by a long shot, there were ones for most of the local Wards, the Protectorate, quite a few villains, capes I'd never heard of... There were videos of 'me' with capes I'd never heard of. All obviously fake, or not even pretending to be real. It looked like the PRT tried to get them removed on a regular basis, but it sounded like it never worked very well.

Now that I realized what was going on, I went back to looking through Vista-focused videos. Making sure that none of these were the one real video was going to be a long, hard, sweaty task...

I may have saved copies of some of the better ones.

Also, in unrelated news, I had some new ideas on ways to prank Shadow Stalker when she was being annoying again.

I'd kept looking every day, even looked for different sites to be sure I was covering all the bases, but so far there was nothing. If Skitter was going to post it, why would she wait?

Then I realized that there was something in my room that hadn't been there the day before. A package was sitting on the desk.

If it made it through screening, it couldn't be anything dangerous, so I didn't hesitate to open it.

I immediately realized how wrong I was. It could make it through screening and still be very dangerous, if only to my peace of mind.

It was my old burner. The one Skitter had taken. I quickly unlocked it and started trying to figure out what had happened to it once it'd left my hands.

Skitter had deleted the video. That wasn't surprising.

Before Skitter deleted the video, she'd uploaded it to an encrypted file locker. That probably shouldn't have surprised me. I checked, and the entire account had since been deleted, but I was sure she'd retrieved a copy first.

And then someone had put a memory card in the phone. One with two items on it.

One was a video.

 _The_ video.

But not quite the same as before. It'd been edited, both our faces (concealed though they already were) blurred out, along with a few other details. As though it were some kind of product testimonial, the other item was a link to the software that had been used to do it.

Blurred out faces weren't unusual for cape porn videos. No one would ever believe that this was the real thing now.

But Skitter would know. And I would know.

I don't think I consciously realized what my free hand was doing until I felt a finger sliding inside me.

I'd thought I'd liked some of the other videos, but there was something even hotter about watching this and knowing that it was really me.

And this time, I caught the moment when Skitter came back to herself.

And the shortly following moment when she'd started pretending to still be in a daze.

She'd _let_ me...?!

In another context, I might have gotten angry at being patronized. But here and now, it wasn't unappealing at all. Watching myself fuck her, and knowing that she was fully aware. That she was enjoying it.

And then, as though a malevolent deity had planned the timing, I received a text.

** I want a turn **

What...?

** But I won't make you miss out on any of the good parts **

Skitter?!?

** Call me **

I imagined what Skitter might want to do with me for "her turn".

And came.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because some part of me had been waiting for an [excuse](https://forum.questionablequesting.com/threads/cpt-tagons-second-writing-thread.9760/page-2#post-2670238) to have Missy get her phone back.
> 
> No, seriously, I was actually irrationally angered by that. I think I'd have literally been less upset if Taylor killed her (killing rapists being a thing I am almost always on board for) than I was about Taylor stealing her phone. I don't get me sometimes.
> 
> I made a few assumptions about Missy's phone in order to have things make some kind of sense to me. I'm not sure it makes sense that the phone would get to her so easily, but eh.
> 
> There were a lot of people out there who liked dressing up as capes and fucking each other. - Why have I not read a fic running with this concept yet?
> 
> That she was enjoying it. - Yeah, that's some pure, undiluted lies-rapists-tell-themselves right there. But... see the rest of the story.
> 
> Now excuse me while I wash my BRAIN, as they say.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now, a sequel to my unofficial sequel to Proving Herself, because reasons.

**Losing Myself**

The fight with Skitter wasn't going my way this time.

In fact, you might say that I'd lost from before I even began.

There was a giant moth perched on my face. I still had my peripheral vision, but how was I supposed to fight like this? So I didn't resist as Skitter handcuffed me and lowered me (with surprising gentleness) to the ground. But I did twitch a bit when I felt her remove the lower part of my costume and slide my panties off.

I couldn't tell exactly what she was doing for a while after that, because there was still a giant moth on my face. I hoped that was going to go away soon.

Then I hissed as I felt something going inside me. It was definitely not Skitter's cock - not nearly as big, and it felt cold. I think Skitter had lubricated whatever it was, because it slid in easily. And then...

Okay, I wasn't sure what she was doing now. I felt her hands around my thighs, and then something else was squeezing them, but it didn't feel quite like anything I'd ever experienced before. I didn't know what was going on.

And then the moth flew away.

The first thing I noticed was jutting out from between my hips. I may not have a lot of experience (but more than -some- Wards I could name, I'm sure), but I could recognize a strap-on when I saw one. It didn't look as big as Skitter's dick, but I couldn't be sure - after all, I hadn't seen it from this particular angle.

Just how much of our previous encounter was she planning on replicating? I could even see a phone set up off to one side, though that wasn't exactly unexpected.

I got my answer as she pulled off her mask, revealing a cloth mask that left the lower part of her face bare beneath it. I wondered if she always wore that, or if she'd gotten it with this in mind?

Then she bent down and gave the dildo an experimental lick. I didn't feel anything, of course - I could guess that the part inside me was supposed to stimulate me, but it'd take more than that for me to notice.

"Bleagh", Skitter muttered, spitting off to one side. I guess she hadn't appreciated the taste of plastic as much as I had the taste of her. "Okay, new plan." And she shifted over a bit more and started licking at my inner thighs.

I definitely felt that. I wouldn't say I was getting much pleasure from the licking itself, but I couldn't stop myself from wriggling around, and the way that made the dildo shift around was attention-getting even if it wasn't all that intense. What actually got me to moan a bit was when when she started rubbing up and down the exposed part with one hand. She'd removed her own gloves, and I could see both her hand and the shaft glistening in the dim light - she was lubing it up. It was a strange experience, since the motion I could see didn't quite translate to what was happening inside of me, but it still left me wanting more.

She stood up, wiped her hands off with something - wait, were those my panties? What the hell?!

I was distracted by learning the answer to a question I'd had before but not thought about too much. Skitter was a futa after all. This was made obvious by the way I could see her lowering her pussy onto the strap-on. I don't know if it was because the toy was smaller, the lube, or because Skitter was just -bigger- than me in general, but she didn't seem to hesitate nearly as much as I had as the toy went further and further inside of her.

And then she started moving, and things got really interesting. The dildo inside me couldn't really move that much, because the straps held it in place, but there was a definite feeling of pressure as she bore down and relaxation as she lifted up. It wasn't quite like having Skitter inside me or fingering myself had been, and I didn't think I'd be able to come from just this. But it was a bit exciting just because it was different too. It made it easy to imagine that it was my dick that Skitter was pleasuring herself with, that her panting was from the feeling of me inside of her.

Skitter's own dick was fully erect, and I could see it bouncing up and down with every stroke. I wondered if it would still cum even though she wasn't touching it. What would I do, if she sprayed her cum all over my costume? I didn't have anything to clean it up with. She'd even taken my panties. I'd gotten lucky going back without them before, but if the rest of my body was a mess I wouldn't be able to hide...

I gasped as I felt Skitter's fingers find my clitoris. She was rubbing a bit harder than I thought I'd prefer, and her hand would slip away when she lifted her body away from mine, but I was so into it now that I didn't think I minded the rough and uneven stimulation. I was feeling better and better even as she sped up, her moans filling the alleyway. There was something almost hypnotic about seeing the way it slid in and out of her, again and again. I was getting so close.

When I came, my head jerked back so hard that I probably would have cracked it on the ground if it weren't for the back of my visor protecting me. I realized I was bucking my hips upwards, as though trying to shoot my nonexistent cum as deep inside Skitter as I could.

I almost missed it when Skitter's own pleasure overtook her, but her cries of pleasure were hard to ignore, as was the way she nearly fell on top of me. I could see a little cum seeping from her dick, but that was it. I wasn't sure whether or not I was disappointed by that.

For a while we just laid there like that, both having to catch our breath. I found myself watching Skitter's face. Maybe I'd been this close before, but... Even though she was still wearing a mask, being able to see even this much made her feel almost like an entirely different person.

The Skitter pulled herself off me and started picking up. The phone was stowed in a pouch. The strap-on came off and went into a bag she'd brought with her. I nearly recoiled in shock as I realized that the panties she'd taken out and put on me were my own, the polka-dotted ones I'd previously thrown away. She must have picked them up and washed them... I wasn't nearly as messy this time, so it was probably better to go back like this than throw away any more underwear. (Why hadn't I thought to bring anything to clean myself up with?) The handcuffs came off, they and their key going back in my belt.

I felt like I should say something, but I didn't know what. So I just got the rest of my costume back together, while Skitter did the same. It looked uncomfortable, the way she pushed her still mostly-hard penis back under her armor, but maybe it wasn't as bad as it looked. I was starting to wonder if we were just going to walk away from each other in silence, when Skitter pulled the phone back out of her pouch and stuck it in one of the pockets on the front of my costume.

"The pin's 5472," she said. "You can send me the edited video later."

What.

"I don't understand," I said bluntly.

She'd looked like she was about to turn away, but stopped and cocked her head to one side, as if inviting me to continue. With her full mask back on, it was impossible to tell anything from her expression.

"Why do you think you can trust me like that?" I elaborated.

She just chuckled before turning away and walking towards the mouth of the alley.

Just before she would have gone around the corner of one of the buildings and out of sight, she turned back towards me and asked "Why don't you?"

And then she was gone.

***

I made my way back to the PRT building, got cleaned up, and headed home.

The software Skitter had linked me to before was a well regarded open-source package, and easy enough to use. I went through the video, washing away the looks of pleasure on both our faces with pixelization, taking away the little details that might be enough to tell an uninformed observer that this was the real thing. But I wasn't thinking about what I'd so recently experienced, but about the aftermath.

Why don't I understand? Should I know why she thinks she can trust me?

Was there something obvious I was missing?

Each of us had an unedited video of the other now. You could call it mutually assured destruction, but she hadn't had to give me anything I could hold over her.

I went back to the unedited video and watched it again. Paused it near the end, just before Skitter had gotten up to stop the recording. If you just looked at our faces, you probably wouldn't guess what we'd been doing, just that we'd been working hard. Though if you saw how close they were, that would be more than enough of a hint.

'I don't understand. Why do you think you can trust me like that?' 'Why don't you?'

Why don't you.

Why don't I.

Why-

And then it clicked. What I'd realized there at the end.

I'd been trying to answer the wrong question.

I got out the burner I'd been using to communicate with Skitter and sent her my reply.

** Because I don't think I'm a good person anymore **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've read that normal handcuffs are actually supposed to be pretty bad for sexual purposes due to safety issues, but eh. Writing to a pre-existing form factor, as it were.
> 
> There was a giant moth perched on my face. - This was supposed to make it obvious that the fighting wasn't for real.
> 
> Bleagh - Don't lick plastic! It can't even enjoy the experience.
> 
> ~~I don't know if I should post this on Ao3 as a separate story or as an additional chapter.~~ I have demonstrably decided to post it as a chapter.


End file.
